Not Celebrating

Some anniversaries are worth celebrating.  Births, Weddings, first meeting your partner, so on.  Some anniversaries maybe worth remembering but a celebration it does not deserve.  The dates of my dad and mother-in-law passing, the day my cancer was diagnosed.  Well today is such an anniversary.  Twenty years ago today, my little boy Max was diagnosed with Autism.  The day of my dad's passing and the day I found out I had cancer are a fog.  But the day I found out my boy had autism is still as clear to me as if it was yesterday.  Oh I knew it was coming.  I knew something was seriously wrong for well over a year.  But back then you had to jump hoops before you could see the right doctor who could make it official.  After 3 ENT's, 2 audiologists, and 2 speech therapists, we were finally given the magic key, or appointment to see the leading diagnostic doctor at the time Dr. Stubbs.  But I knew already.  I did my research, talked to people.  Still, the words "your son has autism"  hit me like a freight train.   

Lucky for me, I was able to get Max in programs that could help, and he is a delightful young man who makes my husband and I proud.  But still, I hate this day, October 1, 1990, and every October 1st since.

I can celebrate the wonderful man he has become, but on this day, well it still hurts like yesterday.