To Do or Not To Do?

This evening I have a birthday party to go to.  It is for someone I care about and have not seen in a while.  I want to go.  In my life, this requires much planning.  I know, if I eat today, I greatly decrease my chances of being able to attend.  I also know if I don't eat too often, well not good for my health.  Well it is an easy call...........No Eating.  I really want to see Mary and her kids who are my nieces and nephews.

So, what to do with my day.  I will drink clear juices, but am trying to figure out how to plan my activities.  I know if I do too much, I will get weak and give in and eat, but also know, if I don't be physically active, I will get bored and the hunger is worse.  Oh the tragedy of it all.  Just kidding on the last comment but am serious about wondering what to do.  I have lots of pictures of more murals to take.  This requires lots of walking, good for my health when I am not fasting.  But when I am not eating, the last thing I feel like is burning energy.

In the big scope of life, none of this is a big deal and I really shouldn't bore any one person who reads this blog about the choices I end up making all day long.  I guess I am just getting more frustrated lately on my limitations.

Tuesday, I had an important meeting for Max, I did everything right when it came to my eating.  Decided to go a little early to my mom's, who lives across the street from the meeting.  Halfway into the 5 mile trip, I had an accident.  A BAD accident.  Mom helped me get cleaned up, she washed my pants, I cleaned the car seat, and sat very quietly for a half hour to try to get things to stop.  Good news, I made it to the meeting, but this is just an illustration of why I am frustrated.  I would like a  life.    But I then have my dear mom saying, "you are alive" and I am reminded to be thankful. 

So yet again, I am complaining, but at the same time, thanking God for every day of my life.  A fickle girl I am.  I will let you know if I make the party.

Added later..........decided to just do light housekeeping and read.  The town murals can wait till the next nice day here in Silverton Oregon.  If digestion holds, I will go watch my 80yr old mom bowl down the street.  Well she doesn't bowl down the street but the bowling alley is just down the street.  Gives me something to do to get my mind off......Steak, lobster, chinese food, all the loves in my stomachs life.