Jodie Is On My Mind

One of my brother's best friend, Jodie, was diagnosed with the same "type" of cancer as me less than two weeks before me.  We had the same treatments of radiation and chemo, but other things were very different.  My placement of my cancer was not solely in the colon but mostly in the rectum.  My tumor was bigger than hers, so I ended up with a colostomy bag for a while, then a ileostomy bag.  They have since been removed.  Like her, I had to have a lot of my colon removed, but unlike her, I have had my rectum removed.  Besides this, she is a bit younger than me.

So I know I shouldn't compare, and I am happy for how well my brother tells me she is doing.......but I am a little jealous.  She is back to work, running, and actually partaking in races.  She does have to take medications to be able to do this.

Because of my lack of a rectum, meds don't help me much.  Time is the only thing that might help, and I have a little over a year left to see where the healing will take me.

I am saying all this because yesterday was a GREAT day, and today, not so much.  I can not go back to work because can you imagine me calling my employer to say " can't come in today because I actually ate a meal that is making me fill my diaper".  Not going to happen. 

Something I have not posted about is that I have now been declared legally disabled.  A bit bitter sweet.  I worked a lot of years and paid in.  But the recent years have only been part time so I don't receive much.  But it helps.  I am thankful, but it also makes me feel more sad and helpless.  But if things improve, you can bet I will be back to work in no time.  Maybe not running races like Jodie, but living a fuller life.

So for today, I am noticing more the things that need to be done that I can not do.  At least today like......

Cleaning the chickens nests.

Raking up leaves

I still need to remove a few impatience

I did clean my kitchen but for the most part am running to the bathroom and sitting here........

But I do have company

Beau is very lazy too today.

I shouldn't feel too guilty about the leaves.  My neighbors across the street have their yard maintained two times a week by landscapers, and still they can't keep up with the leaves.

I am planning on making the barbecue applesauce chicken I posted about, for dinner tonight.  Hopefully this works out.