Went to my Cancer Surgeon appt. today. Must admit, I was a little nervous. Nervous for the obvious. Will he see something wrong. He used the scope and said it all looked good. But I was a bit nervous about my weight gain. I have gain quite a few pounds. While my son Kane was in the room, first thing the doctor said is that I looked great! We talked about some digestion problems, and after a little while, we made Kane leave the room for the physical exam. He checked my abdomen, where I have gained most of my weight. Then he checked inside of me with the scope. After that he said he was so happy about how I am doing. He said the last time he saw me in July, he was a little concerned with my weight and strength. He said I am perfect where I am at now. Vanity.....I liked how I looked ten pounds ago, but I think what he is thinking, is that if I have to undergo chemo or another surgery, unexpected, I am at the perfect weight and health for it. So I guess I need to let go of vanity, and try to maintain where I am at right now.
Dr. L. was so happy with my progress, that it does help to let go of societies "Ideal" and know for a 47 soon to be 48 yr old cancer survivor, I am where I need to be just in case things go south. So in the morning, I will weigh myself, put my skinny size 4 and 6 clothes away and be contented with my 8 and 10 clothes, and my upper 130's weight. The hard part, with my history, is not getting bigger. But oh well, will deal with that as it goes.
The great news is he can see no cancer or abnormalities developing and now my every 3 months checkups with him are every 4 months. Progress, slowly, but progress all the same.
I am a bit sore from the exam,.........You know where! But will take it easy this evening, and hopefully, be back to myself tomorrow.
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