I was going to write this morning about trying to live a more environmentally conscience life but instead I am needing to write a difficult post so I can unload and move on.
I try not to dwell too much about my having cancer. I talk a lot about the fall-out from the treatments and surgeries, but less about what it is like to have cancer in remission and the constant threat of it returning.
Last month, a lovely woman I have known for years, both our oldest boys are the same age, she lost her battle with breast cancer. She was a little older than me, but far too young to leave 3 young adult kids. This week, a woman who's daughter is also my son's age, passed away from cancer. She was diagnosed around the same time as me. I have known this woman for years. We went to the same church and would often see each other in the oncology clinic having treatments. I was praying for her as she was praying for me. Her funeral is tomorrow and I am not sure if my body will let me go to it. We'll see.
Next Monday I go to my oncologist for my quarterly checkup and see if my cancer has returned. I already have had the tests, just need to find out the results. I don't think it has returned but one never really knows. Anyway, I needed to unload about my sadness and express the little nagging fear that never quite leaves me. I hope to be done crying soon for Susan and get outside and get busy. It's a beautiful morning here in Oregon. I will post soon about my thoughts on living a more environmentally responsible life later, when my head clears and I return to a more hopeful mood.
Thanks for letting me unload.....and never fear I will be back to my normal-abnormalities soon.
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