Living an involuntary hermit's life. Working towards living a healthier, gluten-free, hopefully cancer free life with my 2 dogs, 3 chickens and loving family.

Living with intention

When stumbling through life isn't good enough anymore..... decide to be yourself and enjoy life, and pay attention to Gods gifts all around.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Fiber Fear

My blog posts are going to be pretty weird for a while. Blame it on the percocet or the lack of activity. But the pictures will probably have nothing to do with the subject of the posts. The brain power to coordinate pictures and text just isn't in me. I like the pictures taken yesterday, so let me show you and then tell you what's on my mind about a real fear I have...........FIBER!

While lounging on balcony these two were awfully restless.

I decided to take a short walk on the street behind our house.

This is M. my middle son's house. It is right behind ours. He has staff come in everyday for a few hours to help him with day to day tasks.

Bailey went on the walk with me. This house is one of her favorites.

This is one of my favorite. It is just two houses over from Max's. We live in a nice neighborhood.

I wanted to take a picture of Bailey but she refused. So here I am looking like I've just spent over a week in the hospital.

Fear of Fiber

Over the last year or so my diet has changed multiple times. Having ostomies, low potassium, chemo, scar tissue building up, and getting ready or recovering from surgery all contribute to what I am suppose to eat at any given time.

For a long time I have been on a very low residue diet. Because of ileostomy and scar tissue, in order to prevent blockages I have had to eat extremely low fiber. I love higher fiber food. I love Mediterranean diet which is good for my cancer. Whole grains, olives, fresh fruits, vegetables, cheeses, herbs, fish and beans are the foods of my choice. I haven't been able to eat any of these except fish, for months and months.

I have been battling obstructions for quite a while now. Eating the slightest fiber would cause horrible pain and a shut down of my digestion. This last surgery was because the scar tissue developed so much that I could barely eat anything without causing blockage. They took out a portion of my small intestines and scraped the scar tissue throughout the rest of the intestines. When I left the hospital, I was given instructions. Eat low residue for a few days and the switch over pretty quickly to high fiber diet. I am suppose to add something high fiber to my diet every meal. Yesterday I added pealed apple slices (next week I am supposed to add peal) and lettuce. This morning, instead of my tasteless white bread toast, I had toast made of crushed wheat. Not exactly whole grain but a good in-between. I should be ecstatic. I should be so happy that I will if everything goes well, eat the way I want to. But I am scared. I am actually scared of fiber. This was a big surgery I just had. I have a long way to go to recover from it. and the thought of eating something wrong and having to go back in for more surgery is almost paralysing. So far the three new foods I have tried are working out fine and I should look forward to my next meal and deciding what to try next. But I am dreading this change over. I have an appointment with a dietitian that I made for a few weeks out, but I am thinking I should see her sooner to help me get over this fear. I know this is a strange post. A person literally scared of fiber. But this is truly where I am at right now. Anybody else out there have a strange fear caused by bad experiences?


Renee said...

Considering what you've been through, this is totally understandable! But I'm glad you're going to be able to eat good, yummy, healthy foods again.

KJ's Restart Button said...

Thanks Renee. I did e-mail the dietitian to try to get an earlier appointment because I want to do this right.

Renee said...

Good luck!