True Desire, Not Guilt

I grew up going in this lovely church, St. Mary's Catholic Church in Mt. Angel.  My parents were married here.  I was baptised, confirmed, married and my children were baptised here.  I always felt church should be some place you go to because you want to be there to worship.  I feel guilt is a poor reason to attend so when raising our children we chose to go to a Friends church. 

Looking back, I don't think my parents guilted us kids to church but was more of an expected thing.  If I was honest, that is kind of like it was for my kids.  We didn't tell them they have to go, but just got them and us ready every Sunday, and just went.  I think this allows a young adult the freedom to choose their beliefs which I think is a more genuine and healthy relationship with God.

Bailey in particular, misses church if she doesn't attend regularly.  We talk in our house often about God's blessings, and even our frustrations with not understanding His plan.

I have not attended Church regularly for quite a while.  My "digestion" is so unpredictable and gas is a factor when sitting for a long period of time with a large group of people.  But I miss it.  I thought I might try to go to 5:30 Mass last evening but about 4:00, my issues started, so no go.  This morning things are still iffy.  So while letting the chickens out and feeding them, I started to analyse my feelings.  Do I feel guilty for not going to church every Sunday.  I don't.  I really miss the fellowship.  I miss sitting for an hour in a building set aside for God and His followers to be together.  For some reason this grounds me.  I feel at peace.  I feel whole when I attend service.  It doesn't matter which church.  I must admit some churches I would not feel comfortable in, but for the most part, Catholic, Quaker, Methodist, is just fine with me.  So for today, I will take more time to read my bible, except for needed daily chores, the day will be set aside for rest, and this will be good enough for my Father, I am sure. 

But I will try again and again, and maybe get the timing right between my eating and "digestion" and start going to church and basking in the delights of true fellowship and song:)