Happy Saturday to all you readers. Today, I am again at the mercy of my bowels and have resigned myself to having a sitting in recliner or laying in bed kind of day. After I blogged on Thursday, but before we left for the casino, I started having "issues". LL and I drove a different car so everyone else would not have to wait for me. After we got to the casino, I did play the machines for about an hour before we ate dinner. I was in the room for the rest of the night.:( I did get up and play the machines around 5:00 in the morning. David and I did not win a dime. So we cut our session short. I spent the rest of the morning in the room, with more "issues". We met at the Buffet for lunch, I decided "what the hell", might as well eat whatever I want because my body was bad already. So I ate a nice healthy salad and then loaded up a plate with all the meat I wanted. But after I sat down, I just couldn't eat it. Oh I nibbled here and there but I just knew as bad as my body was doing, it was nothing compared to if I ate all that meat. So I am sad to say I was a very wasteful girl and most the food was thrown away.
LL and I left around 2:00 for home. It was a horrible long drive as I was still having "issues". We got home and I remained either in bed or in the bathroom till this morning. Today I am still having problems and so I will be sitting or laying for as long as it takes. I am also not eating solids for a couple days to give my body relief. Seriously getting tired of things getting bad no matter what my diet looks like. But, I am hoping to be doing much better for Sunday and Monday and hope LL and I will go to Portland to Powell's Book Store. What a treat that will be if I can make it.
What I am finding is that occasionally I will have a few good days and think life is great and I might be able to have a normal life. Then I occasionally have horrendous days like the last couple, where I think what kind of life is this that I can't even get up to do basic chores. BUT for the most part, my days fall somewhere in the middle where I am not in pain and can get things done, but need to stay home and on guard. Those are my regular, My normal days. So with that as my baseline, I need to continue figuring out how to live the most productive, and fulfilling life possible. And be at peace with this lifestyle. Oh I haven't given up that I might heal more and still improve and gain more control. But I just can't keep waiting for my life to get back to the old normal, which might never happen. I need to expect the new normal.
So today I am blogging my thoughts, I am watching a little t.v., and I am reading a book on my Kobo. I am thankful Bailey is home today and doing a little housework. LL and Kane are working on Kane's truck, and Max and his staff are hopefully gone somewhere having fun.
Zero Dark Thirty
19 hours ago